Out of Office

I'm sitting by my window listening to Joni Mitchell and looking out at a grey sky. The tree outside my window - I'm not sure what type it is - is still holding onto gold leaves. 

I'm gearing down now... which implies I have been in anything like a high gear this year. I haven't. I've limped through with tears, television, park wanderings, mega zooms and some 'I've discovered the meaning of life' highs and some 'this is all shit' lows. I guess, like most of us.

Now it's time to rest.

We talked about rest during last week's writing workshop and whether we find it easy to do or not. I find it easy, as much as I sleep a lot, but I do not find it easy to be awake and resting. My mind plays over the usual worries, which I try to blot out with television but that isn't proper rest according to a new book.

Time Off: A Practical Guide to Building Your Rest Ethic and Finding Success Without the Stress, by John Fitch and Max Frenzel, argues that having a ‘rest ethic’ is just as important as a work ethic. They say all work with no rest is like inhaling without exhaling.

And according to the book, rest does not automatically happen when we take time off. Watching hours of Netflix is often not restful and neither is scrolling on Instagram.

‘Noble rest’ - as Aristotle apparently called it - involves, counterintuitively, being actively absorbed in something. It might be cooking, walking, playing games, making music - anything that puts us into a ‘flow state’ where we lose track of time and our worries. In a way we lose ourselves.

Many of us - particularly in the western world - do not seek out these activities. We have not grown up in a world that respects rest. We wear our busyness - and exhaustion - like a badge of honour.

There is still a part of me, as a self-employed person, that believes that if I’m awake I should be working and being productive but the book argues that it’s often while resting that we have our best ideas. And play can bring great joy and meaning to our lives.

However we need to make a conscious effort to build rest, fun and play into our lives, especially this year when our work is at the kitchen table and the lines between professional and personal life have been blurred. 

So this is my way of saying that I will be taking two weeks off as of tomorrow. I will try to bake bread rather than fall into a Netflix coma. Or maybe paint a picture with the paint set I ordered during lockdown but have not used. 

OK, hobbies - here I come. Ho, ho, ho.  

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IN OTHER NEWS 

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UNICEF is providing food for hungry children in the UK, for the first time in seventy years. They say that coronavirus is the most urgent crisis affecting children in this country, since the second world war. Scary and sad. If you are looking for a way to help, I give money to Bankuet, who supply food to food banks around the UK. 

And maybe we could be donating any spare money rather than buying each other scented candles we don’t need? For years Martin Lewis, the Money Saving Expert has been campaigning to ban unnecessary Christmas presents (this does not include presents for kids - just adults that you feel you ‘have’ to buy for). He explains that it puts people under pressure to spend money that they don’t have, buying people things they don’t want. It’s just not necessary. I couldn’t agree more. Here is his brilliant blog post about it. 

Some of you might remember me writing about mum making this stand many years ago. We were teenagers, my dad was sick and there was no money so mum said there would be no presents. We thought she was joking but she wasn’t. We woke up on Christmas day to nothing under the tree and there was war. I think one of us threatened to call Childline. But mum didn’t budge. What started from financial necessity became a protest against the commercialisation of Christmas and twenty years later I am very glad for her decision. We are largely present-free but we have family, food and a roof over our head -  in other words, we have everything we could possibly want.

A few final things:

We are doing our last Writing for Fun and Sanity workshop before Christmas tomorrow. 1pm UK time. I might wear a Santa hat. All welcome, it’s never too late to join for the first time. Book tickets here.

My friend Nikki Walsh, is also holding a writing workshop on January 17th. It’s for people who feel stuck and need a bit of help getting back on track. Nikki is a gentle and wise teacher, as those who came to her workshop on perfectionism know. I could not recommend her more. Book tickets here

And last but not least:

Would you have the guts to step away from email all together? Look at this for an out of office email response. I read this on Austin Kleon’s gorgeous newsletter.

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OK, that’s all for now. 

Christmas can push many buttons at the best of times, let alone this year. I hope you are OK.

Speak soon and I hope you can rest. 

Love Mx