Yesterday a colleague asked me to send a professional bio so I wrote a quick list of all the newspaper editing jobs, the publications I’ve written for, the two books, the Ted talk etc.
I’m yearning for a distinction here between achieving for others, to win approval/love/attention/ego points versus the genuinely hard work it takes to create something new, to bring it into being. If you’re writing books to prove to people that you can, to rack up points or outperform someone else, then yes, sure, take a break and see what really lights you up. But if you’re called from the depth of your soul to write a book, and it’s hard work and you do it anyway? That’s kind of amazing, no? Gabor Mate is great for a lot of things and I mostly like what he has to say but not in everything. Not all labor is striving and not all creation is a sign of addiction.
A book called 'How To Be Idle' by Tom Hodgkinson altered my worldview on working and societal values on endless striving. I've always returned to it. Now, if anything, I'm starting to move the other way. Money doesn't buy you happiness but poverty doesn't buy you much at all.
This is all part of this thing called life. The human and spiritual experience. The questioning. The striving. The letting go. The slowing down....I believe we are sometimes forced to face the life we’ve chosen from a different perspective-whether that’s while in bed due to illness or a different location due to various circumstances. This is what makes this ‘life’ experiment so interesting! I cannot wait to hear more from you! Enjoy the resting. The busy will come. Bask in the glory of sharing another story with the world.
Never, not once, have I read something of yours and not come away feeling enriched and like I’ve learned something to carry into my own life. Even from your bed, you’re making an impact. So grateful for what you do ❤️
Stay strong Marianne! This newsletter spoke to my soul and I agree completely. Rest, recharge, be kind to yourself. Love Me! Was just fabulous also, and I am so happy it's out there in the world. All the love xx
Mm, as a nearly 70 recently (self)-diagnosed ADHD, I'm noticing not much has been written about my characteristic of unconscious choosing under-achievement as a life strategy. Unable to focus long enough to take exams, get a career, negotiate family-life successfully...I have under-achieved all my life, married someone who took care of me, done 'menial' jobs. In family history, I realise my dad did the same, and my son, even though better-qualified, is choosing low-ambition.
Does anyone else out there recognise this characteristic in their ADHD make-up?
oh no, Marianne, I'm so sorry to hear you're not well!!! "Editor of the bed" is very sexy - I like it! Please rest up and hopefully you'll be feeling well in a few weeks. xxx
Oh, M, I’m SO sorry that you’re feeling grim, I hope you’re feeling much better soon. I really wanted this bit to feel like your victory lap! You have written a briliant, beautiful book and you deserve to celebrate it! But - I wonder if there’s a contradiction within the publishing world. Writing books requires a slow, steady internal nurturing - we put so much of ourselves into the work, and we do need to stop and top up. But we’re expected to work for the work, and to take on energetic debt. We’re exhausted before we do the events/podcasts etc - and at the end of every interview we are ALWAYS asked ‘So, what’s next?’ You’re brilliant - and you have a LOT of loyal fans out here doing your promo for you! X
I’m so sorry you have long covid. My mum has it too, and she’s on her first big holiday since she got it back in September 2022. It’s debilitating and tricky to navigate.
Achievement is also tricky to navigate. What does it mean? Who’s judging? Why is judging involved? For some, walking to the loo is an achievement. For others, it’s a marathon after months of training. It’s all relative really.
Prioritise rest. Long Covid punishes you otherwise (from my mum)
Wishing you well soon, Marianne! Thank you for your amazing book. This newsletter has given me lots to think about too... Every Saturday I write a list of weekly celebrations to a friend who's a self-employed coach like me, and I have realised that most weeks we send each other a list of socially-approved achievements. Signing a new coaching client; designing a new workshop; editing a website page... Maybe a bigger achievement is: "Didn't feel like work, took the afternoon off and did fck all"!
I’m yearning for a distinction here between achieving for others, to win approval/love/attention/ego points versus the genuinely hard work it takes to create something new, to bring it into being. If you’re writing books to prove to people that you can, to rack up points or outperform someone else, then yes, sure, take a break and see what really lights you up. But if you’re called from the depth of your soul to write a book, and it’s hard work and you do it anyway? That’s kind of amazing, no? Gabor Mate is great for a lot of things and I mostly like what he has to say but not in everything. Not all labor is striving and not all creation is a sign of addiction.
A book called 'How To Be Idle' by Tom Hodgkinson altered my worldview on working and societal values on endless striving. I've always returned to it. Now, if anything, I'm starting to move the other way. Money doesn't buy you happiness but poverty doesn't buy you much at all.
Thank you for that perspective...best wishes finding your balance
This is all part of this thing called life. The human and spiritual experience. The questioning. The striving. The letting go. The slowing down....I believe we are sometimes forced to face the life we’ve chosen from a different perspective-whether that’s while in bed due to illness or a different location due to various circumstances. This is what makes this ‘life’ experiment so interesting! I cannot wait to hear more from you! Enjoy the resting. The busy will come. Bask in the glory of sharing another story with the world.
Never, not once, have I read something of yours and not come away feeling enriched and like I’ve learned something to carry into my own life. Even from your bed, you’re making an impact. So grateful for what you do ❤️
Stay strong Marianne! This newsletter spoke to my soul and I agree completely. Rest, recharge, be kind to yourself. Love Me! Was just fabulous also, and I am so happy it's out there in the world. All the love xx
Mm, as a nearly 70 recently (self)-diagnosed ADHD, I'm noticing not much has been written about my characteristic of unconscious choosing under-achievement as a life strategy. Unable to focus long enough to take exams, get a career, negotiate family-life successfully...I have under-achieved all my life, married someone who took care of me, done 'menial' jobs. In family history, I realise my dad did the same, and my son, even though better-qualified, is choosing low-ambition.
Does anyone else out there recognise this characteristic in their ADHD make-up?
oh no, Marianne, I'm so sorry to hear you're not well!!! "Editor of the bed" is very sexy - I like it! Please rest up and hopefully you'll be feeling well in a few weeks. xxx
'do enough work to pay the bills, love my friends and family, having a nice life' That's my life ambitions right there 😀
Oh, M, I’m SO sorry that you’re feeling grim, I hope you’re feeling much better soon. I really wanted this bit to feel like your victory lap! You have written a briliant, beautiful book and you deserve to celebrate it! But - I wonder if there’s a contradiction within the publishing world. Writing books requires a slow, steady internal nurturing - we put so much of ourselves into the work, and we do need to stop and top up. But we’re expected to work for the work, and to take on energetic debt. We’re exhausted before we do the events/podcasts etc - and at the end of every interview we are ALWAYS asked ‘So, what’s next?’ You’re brilliant - and you have a LOT of loyal fans out here doing your promo for you! X
I’m so sorry you have long covid. My mum has it too, and she’s on her first big holiday since she got it back in September 2022. It’s debilitating and tricky to navigate.
Achievement is also tricky to navigate. What does it mean? Who’s judging? Why is judging involved? For some, walking to the loo is an achievement. For others, it’s a marathon after months of training. It’s all relative really.
Prioritise rest. Long Covid punishes you otherwise (from my mum)
Xxx
Oh my goodness. PLEASE put this on your LinkedIn ;) The Gabor Mate quote hit hard. Sending love xo
Wishing you well soon, Marianne! Thank you for your amazing book. This newsletter has given me lots to think about too... Every Saturday I write a list of weekly celebrations to a friend who's a self-employed coach like me, and I have realised that most weeks we send each other a list of socially-approved achievements. Signing a new coaching client; designing a new workshop; editing a website page... Maybe a bigger achievement is: "Didn't feel like work, took the afternoon off and did fck all"!
I’m so sorry the long Covid has claimed you again. Be kind to yourself x