So powerful as always Marianne. This one I am saving for the future. And I hope you get to be kind to yourself, even if it takes time. I hope this new book is everything you hope for and so much more! I for one cannot wait to read it xx
I’m looking forward to reading your book Marianne as I’m sure many more are. Your honesty is refreshing in an increasingly fake world. I know how hard it is to be kind to yourself. Hoping for energy and lightness for you this year - as well as another bestseller! Lots of love Ali x
Thank you so much for your honesty, it helps loosen my shame and allow me to acknowledge my difficult relationship with fatigue and rest. The enormous benefit of " rest " and its SO bloody hard! (so many more in worse circumstances) and the highly critical self is wanting to blame for a sense of control.
I really look forward to your next book, and I come away from your interactions online or from your writings that there is no exact way or neatly fit endings and its ok, It is a struggle and frustrating but its honest. You live and write out the uncertainty and unknown, the progression and the "failings" and I eat it all up,
With this, it gives me such gratitude to writers like yourself whose stories I've connected with, Also it has helped me keep a diary and helped me acknowledge and give confidence that the illness comes in waves, the good and the bad.
When I read your newsletter, I'm always struck by 2 things: 1. I relate to much of what you express, and 2. how brave you are to be willing to share your innermost thoughts and feelings. There is no shame - even when others judge us - unless we judge ourselves too. And there is no absolute truth, so if you choose to judge yourself, it's true, and if you choose to show yourself kindness and compassion, then those thoughts are true too. You get to choose. And I write this for myself as much as you, because I get caught up in that "letting myself off the hook" thing too. But really, we can hold ourselves accountable while being kind and compassionate about it. And that's where the healing sits, I think.
Isn't it strange how we try to pin down and label who and what we are at a specific time, or within a (sometimes) arbitary period of time? As if we can ever be any one thing. There is always so much going on, so much that is true, even in a single minute sitting in an empty room doing nothing. But we gravitate towards finding what's "wrong", whatever we can eek out that we can feasibly put a negative label onto.
I think that when we give this phenomena a name - the internalised critical parent, perhaps - then we stand a chance of seeing its absurdity and the crazily disproportionate weight that it grabs for itself.
Then we can tell it to fuck off and leave us alone.
As a 42 year old Irish woman, Catholic guilt and shame is the worst. The things that we grew up with in the 1980s, the things that were said, and how women were treated. It feels like a lifetime ago in one way, and I so envy the younger generation here who are not burdened with it and have such strong voices. I am so looking forward to reading your book, and thank you for writing about this topic. Mind yourself and take care, Louise
As someone who's spent most the afternoon asleep and 2+ years on a book proposal (proposal, not even writing the damn thing) I appreciate you sharing all this 💕 hail to the goop phase I also love the concept of holding multiple truths. Can't wait to read your book once it's out 😘
To be honest I feel seen when I read your newsletters. I have been struggling quite a bit since 2020. I, too, watch all the British Crime Dramas I can get over here, I listen podcasts such as The True Crime Enthusiast, read books that have a darker theme. I spend so much time working then I go to my apartment where I am alone. No routine, sleep when tired, eat when hungry, try to get fresh air daily (usually fail), there must be something wrong with me! Then when I am feeling compassionate I remind myself of the last 5 years: leaving a long term relationship, living alone for the first time in my life, experiencing loss, depression, recovery, and then a work accident. It’s been… what it was and I am coping the best I can. I see a little more progress each day, it’s infinitesimal sometimes and other times motivational. Thank you for sharing your experiences, thoughts, highs and lows. Cheers.
This is so honest, wise and hopeful, Marianne. 'It happened how it happened... now I'm trying again.' There's so much power in even acknowledging that – as you write (via Dr Kristen Neff), it's the first step to self-compassion. Thank you for writing this. Grateful for you and your writing!
I am with you on the penchant for crime dramas! It's something about the triumph of good over evil and that no matter how bleak things get, justice prevails. They allow you to go on your own hero's journey, as you have with this book.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I’ve written down those four points for practising self compassion to try out with my daughter (who struggles with anxiety and often blames her body for it). So thank you for those too
Loved every word. I've forwarded this newsletter to friends who find self-compassion hard (count myself in this). Marianne's Writing for Sanity meetups were the first writing classes I took + such a permission slip I'll be forever grateful for
Absolutely loved this. Thanks for your honesty and truth Marianne. x
So powerful as always Marianne. This one I am saving for the future. And I hope you get to be kind to yourself, even if it takes time. I hope this new book is everything you hope for and so much more! I for one cannot wait to read it xx
I’m looking forward to reading your book Marianne as I’m sure many more are. Your honesty is refreshing in an increasingly fake world. I know how hard it is to be kind to yourself. Hoping for energy and lightness for you this year - as well as another bestseller! Lots of love Ali x
Thank you so much for your honesty, it helps loosen my shame and allow me to acknowledge my difficult relationship with fatigue and rest. The enormous benefit of " rest " and its SO bloody hard! (so many more in worse circumstances) and the highly critical self is wanting to blame for a sense of control.
I really look forward to your next book, and I come away from your interactions online or from your writings that there is no exact way or neatly fit endings and its ok, It is a struggle and frustrating but its honest. You live and write out the uncertainty and unknown, the progression and the "failings" and I eat it all up,
With this, it gives me such gratitude to writers like yourself whose stories I've connected with, Also it has helped me keep a diary and helped me acknowledge and give confidence that the illness comes in waves, the good and the bad.
Warm hugs and love,
Aileen
When I read your newsletter, I'm always struck by 2 things: 1. I relate to much of what you express, and 2. how brave you are to be willing to share your innermost thoughts and feelings. There is no shame - even when others judge us - unless we judge ourselves too. And there is no absolute truth, so if you choose to judge yourself, it's true, and if you choose to show yourself kindness and compassion, then those thoughts are true too. You get to choose. And I write this for myself as much as you, because I get caught up in that "letting myself off the hook" thing too. But really, we can hold ourselves accountable while being kind and compassionate about it. And that's where the healing sits, I think.
Isn't it strange how we try to pin down and label who and what we are at a specific time, or within a (sometimes) arbitary period of time? As if we can ever be any one thing. There is always so much going on, so much that is true, even in a single minute sitting in an empty room doing nothing. But we gravitate towards finding what's "wrong", whatever we can eek out that we can feasibly put a negative label onto.
I think that when we give this phenomena a name - the internalised critical parent, perhaps - then we stand a chance of seeing its absurdity and the crazily disproportionate weight that it grabs for itself.
Then we can tell it to fuck off and leave us alone.
As a 42 year old Irish woman, Catholic guilt and shame is the worst. The things that we grew up with in the 1980s, the things that were said, and how women were treated. It feels like a lifetime ago in one way, and I so envy the younger generation here who are not burdened with it and have such strong voices. I am so looking forward to reading your book, and thank you for writing about this topic. Mind yourself and take care, Louise
As someone who's spent most the afternoon asleep and 2+ years on a book proposal (proposal, not even writing the damn thing) I appreciate you sharing all this 💕 hail to the goop phase I also love the concept of holding multiple truths. Can't wait to read your book once it's out 😘
To be honest I feel seen when I read your newsletters. I have been struggling quite a bit since 2020. I, too, watch all the British Crime Dramas I can get over here, I listen podcasts such as The True Crime Enthusiast, read books that have a darker theme. I spend so much time working then I go to my apartment where I am alone. No routine, sleep when tired, eat when hungry, try to get fresh air daily (usually fail), there must be something wrong with me! Then when I am feeling compassionate I remind myself of the last 5 years: leaving a long term relationship, living alone for the first time in my life, experiencing loss, depression, recovery, and then a work accident. It’s been… what it was and I am coping the best I can. I see a little more progress each day, it’s infinitesimal sometimes and other times motivational. Thank you for sharing your experiences, thoughts, highs and lows. Cheers.
This is so beautifully written and I relate to every word A LOT. 👏👏 xx
This is so honest, wise and hopeful, Marianne. 'It happened how it happened... now I'm trying again.' There's so much power in even acknowledging that – as you write (via Dr Kristen Neff), it's the first step to self-compassion. Thank you for writing this. Grateful for you and your writing!
I am with you on the penchant for crime dramas! It's something about the triumph of good over evil and that no matter how bleak things get, justice prevails. They allow you to go on your own hero's journey, as you have with this book.
So lovely to be reading your words again, thank you and here's to all the resting. Let's give ourselves a break...
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I’ve written down those four points for practising self compassion to try out with my daughter (who struggles with anxiety and often blames her body for it). So thank you for those too
Loved every word. I've forwarded this newsletter to friends who find self-compassion hard (count myself in this). Marianne's Writing for Sanity meetups were the first writing classes I took + such a permission slip I'll be forever grateful for
Thank you for your honesty. Can’t wait to read the book!